Author Archives: Sarcasm

August, 2020. My mother has now completed every puzzle ever made during her time sheltering-in-place, and therefore has begrudgingly resorted to cleaning her house. This week’s big project was sorting through old photos, the best of which she proceeded to hold out and show to me when I visited today. She would lean in closerContinue reading “A Photo Is Worth 1,000 Words…”

Mom: I’m gonna curl up with Harry. She means Potter. In the midst of the COVID-19 whole-home-deep-cleaning (I seem to be the only one who thought this was an actual requirement and completed it) I pared down the number of books I own and gave away a lot that I have already read, like HarryContinue reading “Harry Potter Politics”

In an effort to better myself, make the most of this time (and distract myself from eating cookies), I started using a goals journal my friend recently published: Small Steps Big Mountain. It is kicking my ass. There is a page, early on, that encourages readers to list 12 big, scary, but potentially achievable goals.Continue reading “Small Steps, Big Mountain, Lots of Cookies”

My mother was one of the first in her family to graduate college, and went on to get her master’s in biology. She took calculus for fun one summer. This is the kind of person we are dealing with. Tonight, she has been doing cryptograms, where you have to decipher the code to figure outContinue reading “Why Are There So Many Goats on Facebook?”

For the past four months I have been doing my best to keep my 79-year-old mother in her house. She had more luck keeping me in her house when I was a teenager, but nevertheless I try. One of my mandates is that she is not allowed to go to the grocery store. This isContinue reading “Christmas In July”

Every night at 8pm in my neighborhood, we all gather on our balconies, or rooftops, to whoop and clap for first responders, and so many more. These are the ones for whom I whoop: My mother for staying in her house (mostly) Doctors, nurses, first responders and anyone working within sneezing distance of a hospitalContinue reading “Those for Whom I Whoop”

I’m on the phone with my mom, I’m exhausted, and it’s getting late. (For me, at least. She is unstoppable, but I try to be a good influence on her, so…) Me: Ok go to bed Mom: You go to bed, I’m gonna cuddle up with my gentleman. Me: WHAT? Mom: The gentleman from Moscow.Continue reading “The Bug Situation”