A Photo Is Worth 1,000 Words…
August, 2020. My mother has now completed every puzzle ever made during her time sheltering-in-place, and therefore has begrudgingly resorted to cleaning her house. This week’s big project was sorting through old photos, the best of which she proceeded to hold out and show to me when I visited today. She would lean in closer…
Harry Potter Politics
Mom: I’m gonna curl up with Harry. She means Potter. In the midst of the COVID-19 whole-home-deep-cleaning (I seem to be the only one who thought this was an actual requirement and completed it) I pared down the number of books I own and gave away a lot that I have already read, like Harry…
Small Steps, Big Mountain, Lots of Cookies
In an effort to better myself, make the most of this time (and distract myself from eating cookies), I started using a goals journal my friend recently published: Small Steps Big Mountain. It is kicking my ass. There is a page, early on, that encourages readers to list 12 big, scary, but potentially achievable goals.…
Sanity, Donuts & Alcohol*
I just ate an entire family-size bag of Oreo cookies, because I am under the impression that Covid has given us a free pass to make poor life choices. I had been on a 42-year-long mission of reasonable healthiness until… Yesterday I decided I was going on an adventure to Trader Joe’s. The initial pandemic-hoarding…
Why Are There So Many Goats on Facebook?
My mother was one of the first in her family to graduate college, and went on to get her master’s in biology. She took calculus for fun one summer. This is the kind of person we are dealing with. Tonight, she has been doing cryptograms, where you have to decipher the code to figure out…
Christmas In July
For the past four months I have been doing my best to keep my 79-year-old mother in her house. She had more luck keeping me in her house when I was a teenager, but nevertheless I try. One of my mandates is that she is not allowed to go to the grocery store. This is…
Those for Whom I Whoop
Every night at 8pm in my neighborhood, we all gather on our balconies, or rooftops, to whoop and clap for first responders, and so many more. These are the ones for whom I whoop: My mother for staying in her house (mostly) Doctors, nurses, first responders and anyone working within sneezing distance of a hospital…
The Bug Situation
I’m on the phone with my mom, I’m exhausted, and it’s getting late. (For me, at least. She is unstoppable, but I try to be a good influence on her, so…) Me: Ok go to bed Mom: You go to bed, I’m gonna cuddle up with my gentleman. Me: WHAT? Mom: The gentleman from Moscow.…
Who’s In Charge of the Yoplait Now?
When I was little, all I wanted in my sad paper lunch bag (that I was forced to reuse till the spoon fell out) was a sandwich that wasn’t totally disgusting, and a Yoplait yogurt. We lived in a nice area, but we were house poor, so anything name brand was not an option. My…
The Notary Bandit
It is hard to keep my mother in. She was always out before this. It occurs to me she may be feral. She was part of so many clubs, and groups, and theaters, and choirs. And of course, she ran her own company in addition. It was a battle to get her to retire, and…
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