My mom has two small couches facing each other in her living room, about 6 feet apart. It’s like it was designed for being social, while distancing. So today, during my weekly visit, we sit there, her on one, me on the other.
She has already shown me all her recently completed puzzles. And her knitting.
Two days ago, my best friends announced they are expecting. My mom has already finished crocheting their baby blanket and a matching hat.
I gave her a 3,000-piece Beatles puzzle, but it only kept her busy for about a week. If I hadn’t heard from her during those days, I would send my typical text message: “Are you dead?” And she would just reply with a photo, documenting the progress made on the puzzle, (which took up the entire dining room table), and the sunglasses emoji, to remind me how cool she is. But this puzzle is long since complete and Mom needs a new project.
Mom: If I only do 2 Sudoku a day it will last me till July.
This is adorable, and heartbreaking that she has calculated this, and terrifying that I am running out of ways to keep her inside. She finished all the Barnes & Noble puzzles, and books, and Amazon is now taking too long to deliver new puzzles, as they have announced they are “prioritizing emergency items.” Don’t they realize THESE ARE EMERGENCY ITEMS?!
Mom: Well at least I’ll still have online games.
Me: What games do you play?
Mom: I usually play a little solitaire on the computer while I am waiting for the servers to boot up.
Me: The what?
Mom: The internet.
Me: Mom, the internet does not need to “boot up.”
Mom: No, just the servers boot up. (She says, as if I am a complete moron.)
Me: What are you saying?! You’re just saying words!
Mom: Sometimes it is slow!
Me: What browser are you using?
Mom: Oh, I mostly just get online through Gmail these days.
Me: You don’t get online through Gmail. What do you open to search for something?
Mom: I just look it up on the Gmail.
Me: Mom, you can’t “look it up on Gmail” unless someone emailed it to you. It’s not an encyclopedia, it’s just a mailbox.
Mom: Ok, well, it has a lot of things on there.
Me: Mom, it only has your mail.
Mom: Sometimes it has other things.
SARCASM WILL SAVE YOU 
Haha, that’s a mom alright. Sonm glad you shared your blog!
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Yeah yesterday when I asked her which browser she was using she said “Siri”. This blog writes itself.
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